BLAMe

BLAME

I used to be a child that blames others at every single thing that went wrong in life. Not getting good grades in exams, blame teacher for setting the paper too difficult. Not good in badminton, blame the coach for being sooo bad at teaching. Not close to friends and family,blame the internet. Not being able to buy some stuff, blame the dad. Fell in the drain, blame the authorities for their recklessness GOSH!! Damn, emo rite? hahaha but now when I think about it kan, "blame"is a really bad bad bad word. Not in the meaning of an insult but as for an excuse to run away. Usually people would blame somebody or something else for their mistakes, just to prove others that they are innocent and for the sake of making themselves feel much better from the whole situation. In other words, being in denial.

Lets take an examplelah ok. Why people blame parents when they come across a very rude or indecent person? Nampak je perempuan merokok "ishh... mak ayah dia tak kesah ke?" apa2 jela yang people trash talk, parents would be the first person to be blamed. It could be true. Since they are the people who's responsible in shaping their children's inner self. Couldn't agree more about that. But can you just simply put it that way? Can you?

As for me, I can't. I think that no matter how rude or indecent or disrespectable that person can be, it's no one's fault but them. No one else but themselves. Because, whatever actions that you do, it's your call. No one else. The outcome of your decisions is for you to deal with. Not anyone else. I'm not saying that people should NEVERblame on others but It would be nice if everybody can consider inlooking within themselves first before happily pointing fingers on others. That's all. What do you think John's Deciphers? What say you

Place in MY HEART

Aishh penatnye saya. I just finish typing out a draft copy of a tenancy agreement for my mom. She actually force me to type out a freaking 3 pages long of bosaness( tenant,landlord,blabla) sungguh bosan I'm telling you. I malas delay my work so I kinda habiskan already. Thank God.

I was suppose to go out with Farhan today but dunno what happenlah. Prolly he is not feeling very well since he texted me yday his feeling a bit feverish. It's the weather I'm telling you. Hot and Hazy. The best combination of disaster to health. From what I heard, It'll go on for 3 months. So brace yourself Malaysians! Drink more H20 water :)

Today, I went for branch with my bestest buddies Hanis & Syahida at 12.30pmish (branchla sangat) Punyala malas all of us to bangun. I bangun pun cause my maid wanted to mop and vacuum my room.

Future Dentist

We ate at dunno whats the place called already at 1utama. Pretty goodlah. I ate pasta and it cost me only for Rm8.99. Cheap right? I know...! I thought I should spend my money wisely for today since I bought myself this so hot Koreanish bag from SEED and Aliph loves it a lot. Nasib dia tak beli sama lol, but actually he wants it too at the end he didnt. Such a prideful child :p 

Future Security Software Analyst

Moving on, after branch I went to pick clothes from the Laundry shop. Since most of Zara's goods kena dry clean so dengan malasnye had to send them to the Laundry shop. It costs me a total of Rm 100 ok! blardy hell mahal kot. I sed to the owner of the shop "pandai tol you buat business eh auntie lol" it's ok. I bet she wouldnt dare say anything bad.

Jeremy Quah, Caryn Koh, Edhuan Ismail

After that, I pegi amik Sleng then met WyJin at Taman Mayang field. FYI 5 years ago, WyJin and I carved our names on a tree at the field. I know it's wrong but I dunno wth I was thinking at that timelah. Simply sedap hati je vandalise the tree hahaha. Surprisingly it's still there!! It's been like......... 5 yearsss 5 years already and I still remember vividly on that day. Time really flies huh.

Future Psychologyst 

I hate goodbyes. I'm bad at it. So I hate it. It's been good meeting the both of them again. They were like my pillars of strength back then in highschool and still standing strong :) Although all of us follows our own different paths or roads but we always attempt to reach for each other regardless what shithole we're in. I love u guys and you will always always have a place in my heart.

Are You?

Things do not stay the way it is. Nothing is. As time goes, slowly people change.

In what sense? Anything, appearance, habits, the way they speak, attitude wise and etc.

Great alteration will result in immense change.

We choose the people that we want to be friends with. If they change, would they still be “that” friend worth spending our time with? So basically what can I say here is nothing last forever right? But why is there such thing as Friends Forever? Eternal Love? Maybe we can say that when only the “change” does not occur, but can we avoid it? It is apart of life after all.

Here I am blogging about friends of mine which already changed till I don’t feel comfortable to be with them while neglecting the fact that I my

Sorry

I understand that there are some problems and I am not too blind to know all the pain you kept inside you even though you might not show. If I can apologize for being wrong then it’s just a shame on me I’ll be the reason for your pain and you can put the blame on me.

Into each life there comes a time when you must pay your lovers' dues. I know I was wrong for treating you the way I did but I have so much on my mind. I didn’t know where you fit in and I thought I already said that to you. If I could do it all over again, I’ll never let you get your ways, I'll never let you move into me.

I’m sorry that I ever did it to you, that I ever made you cry. 

Lastly, I'm sorry that I can't break down in tears.

Good vs Bad

What is good? What is bad?

Each individual believe in their own perspective. I have friends who smokes. Straight-A Student. In the Dean's list. I have friends who drinks like mad at the same time friends that never fails to be there for me when I'm in need of help. Some friends do drugs but willing to go thru trouble for me. Some of them do things that you could not even imagine.

Today, I followed some of my friends to smoke. I look at each of them. All of them with no doubt are nice people, down to earth that I always have respect for. But why some people judge smokers so terribly? Nampak orang smoke je, terus label budak jahat. Maybe MOST of smokers are bad but isn't what you're doing is generalize? Is it fair for you to think that way? Why people stereotype? It's the soceity isnt it? The society pictures a good man with a good features, fair, tall, nice, kind bla bla. So what about some people that does not have those? Bad people?

For me, the most important question is, Who are you to judge?

When someone says that I'm selfish, cheater, jerk. I'll get soooo badly hurt. Not because of them, not because of the words. But because of how untrue it is. People judge without knowing the truth. Without trying to understand. Without listening. I hate being judged for things thats not right.

Sometimes I feel tired of being me. I feel like lettting myself loose. I'm so sick of worrying what people might think of me. Like it or not, we're living in a cruel world. Call me cheater call me liar call me selfish call me a bitch call me watever you want after this cause I won't feel hurt hearing it since I'm being one.

Foolish

After feeling numb from reading FIN 202, I decided to stop for awhile. So I sit here, in front of my laptop at 1.12am in the morning feeling nothing.

Actually, I don't feel like updating my blog at all today thus I went on reading my previous posts that I wrote wayy long time ago. Some of them filled with happiness but MOST of them loaded with emo shit. hahahaha. But something caught my attention though. Particularly the part when I laughed while reading almost all of the previous posts.

I used to be so emotional and sensitive at any single shit that moves around me(still am? hahaha) I remember those moments of break ups, make ups, hook ups, brain breaking, nerve wrecking, heart aching jiffy. I remember how depressed I was during those times. At one point of time I thought that I wasn't strong enough to live through all of it. Sad case right? Gudness, i used to be such a sad child! hahaha

But hey, look at me now. You see, I always tell my friends and remind myself that what ever problems that you may have, just be strong and hold on for awhile cause when the clouds go away and thesun comes in, you'll be okay. By the time it's all over, you look back then you'll be laughing at yourself and would think how silly you can be. I'm proud to say that I've grown up. I'm over all this small petty shit. ...... so should you.

Communism

When they want C*** back home and why they support LTTE, they has been said to spark the fire. Is that true?

Most probably it is but the MALAY!!!! need to think, why they keep asking for this.

They want us to think a bit. Take a look at North Korea, even they are communist country but still they can build missile, China PR can be one of the powerful nation on earth and for LTTE, they still can build light war planes even they did not have resources.

Look ! We say they are the enemies but what they achieve compared to us? Think ? If we said democracy is the best for us but why we can't be like Singapore and why some does not want Islam to rule, look at Iran, they can build missiles too...!

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