new YEAR for ME

What is the big deal coming of a new year? 

New inspiration?

New Objective, Goal, Mission?

New spirit?

Hijrah?

Changing from worst to better?

If it is, then why wait for new year? why don't just do it when you feel like to? People celebrate, fireworks, concerts, parties.

When the clock strikes at 12.00 a.m. People smile as if it is one of the best thing that ever happen to them. What is the point of celebrating? that you managed to stay alive until now? that you managed to go through the pain and suffering before? ...........

I wish we wudnt need to wait for new year to change, to have new inspiration, to have goals. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

the CURSE

Apart of me tells me that true love never dies. No fear as long as the love is true. As long as you believe in your love then you will be okay. As long as you give all of yourself to that person than soon that a person will do the same. The trick that all you need to do is be the first one to start it first. I did. I always make the first move. It did't work. I tried again, It didn't work. I tried so hard again and again and again. From spending money(materials) into effort(handmade) it's still not working. Tell me what went wrong? tell me what I did wrong? Tell me so I can fix it cause this heart still tells me that the love is true. Now I know why I still cry so badly. It's not because I'm too pampered, too weak, too soft but I believe so much in love, believe so much in you, believe that true love will never back off from me. But what happens when what you believe in, you hope for, you trust on is wrong. Just plain wrong. A slap on the face. Slam the door on your face. You may think I'm weak for crying but I stand up and tell that I'm not crying over some lame excuse. I cry for how wrong it is in what i believed in. If this is what God wants me to experience. So be it. I accept. If this it what I'll get, I swear that I'll never never never ................

Right now, I can just picture myself walking on this dark empty wet lane. Hugging myself. Not trusting anyone. Bringing down the hate, empty, betray, hatred, sad, all of em down to hell with me. From my stupidity, idioticity, I've created my own devil. And i swear that as long as this heart feels the pain that you inflicted upon me, i swear that i will never forgive myself for thinking of you and i shall punish myself in away that i shall perish from this world of heretics!!