Am i lost my trust to Islam? Sometimes "YES". When you are a muslim you are abide to follow all the rules that have been told. For me, it is not that hard to follow all the rules but actually it is other way round. As human, we want something for what we do. For me, i didn't ask for many things but i only ask for the most important thing in my life. Why it is so hard for Islam to give what i want. I don't ask for money or other material things but i only want, what most people have.
What religion will i choose if i given a chance? Christian? Buddha? Hindu or Pagan ? Am i going to be a Malay Muslim Background Believers member? The answer is XXX but why? I was a XXX before. The religion is easy but it does not as easy as it sound. The XXX will always help their believers in finding something especially if you are new to the religion. In my life, i only want to find what is the most important for me, so the XXX will help me. They help me a lot to find what i want. I can see the sincerity every time i seek their help.
But why i turn back to Islam? Maybe my best buddy manage to persuade me and tell me that Islam can help me to find what i want but my answer is no. For more then 12 years knowing a big secret of my life from my friend mouth and digging the truth by myself i was very sad i my heart broke and disappointed and never ask me to be very kind to you even though i can because it is hard for me to trust people. If i can commit suicide you will never read my blog. Until today, Islam still never help me to find what is the most important thing in my life and it is totally lie, lie and lie.
If i wanna be XXXX what race am I? Race doesn't border me actually. I'm not proud with any race in the world as i feel it is just something that human created to destroy the brotherhood.
Maybe i'm not going to change my religion now but it will.
